Enter the Momdome!

January 26, 2011 at 12:26 pm 11 comments

Lagunatic has had many hair-raising events in her life.

This latest one was literal however.

You see, I wanted to simplify my life a bit, but, if you know me then you’ll know that anytime I try to make my life easier I somehow do the exact opposite.

Like, how I’m trying to downsize our living situation so that we have one abode instead of two. That got me cursing at inanimate buddha’s and pleading to real estate god’s via Facebook friends. That is NOT simple.

In this current case, I decided that going to the gym would be much easier if I could just wash my hair there and walk out without having to style it…which takes forever….and requires products…and a hair dryer….hence shclepping…which I hate…but only because I don’t employ a sherpa and therefore would have to do it myself. Yuck.

So, anyway, I went to my hairperson with a request to give my hair enough of a wave that it would look pretty freshly showered, non-producted, and blow-dryer free. Well, hairperson reminded me that perms were OUT and straightening was IN. I tish-toshed and explained that I like my natural waves, but only wanted them amplified a bit and that if I wanted straight hair I could use a curling iron.

Hairperson begrudgingly complied to my request.

The problem?

The result made me look like a sheepdog who’d got it’s paw stuck in an electrical socket.

Not quite the look I was going for.

*sigh*

At the end of the day, I’m not one to freak out over hair. I mean, it grows, right? If you’re not happy with it, it’s not like you’re stuck with it forever or anything. And, anyways, I have a very full and long history with ruining my hair. There was that orange incident in High School around Hallowe’en, the purple incident when I was modeling (I think the clients are STILL trying to recover from that one), the mullet incident when I was trying to acclimate to my new southern locale, and the multi-coloured incident where people were forced to assume I was trying to be Punk without having to give up the comfort of my Bass Weejuns.

Yeah…so there’s that.

Back to the current incident; it wasn’t looking good for me.

When in doubt, hack, I always say…so hack I did.

It all started innocently enough. A few layers to ameliorate the fried ends…a few more to give it shape…a chop at the bottom to even things up.

The culmination of all these little “fixes”?

Um.

Well.

I-uh.

Oh lordy I hope my hairperson doesn’t kill me.

I am now sporting that cut of cuts…that style of styles…that anti-fashion institution known as SOCCER MOM HAIR.

*children run screaming in every direction*

*Blue haired old ladies faint from the shock*

*My dear husband’s blood runs cold*

Yup, I have only myself to blame. Me, the soccer-momdome’d woman who’s children have never set foot on an actual soccer field.

I wonder when little league try-outs start.

Oh, you want to see it?

Ok, but don’t go bringing this into your hairperson and say, “Whatever you do, do NOT give me this” ok? Promise?

Ok…here you go

Psych.

Here it is for realz:

2011-01-26 11.45.01.jpg

Ok, I gotta go. I hear they’re having a special on Mini-Vans today.

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Entry filed under: What she said. Tags: , , , .

Tips from a beauty insider. Tickets to the gun show.

11 Comments Add your own

  • 1. JLP  |  January 26, 2011 at 12:38 pm

    I just bought a minivan. What does that make me? My current hairstyle, if you want to call it that is having my sides pulled up and back into little pigtails but leaving the back alone. See my profile pic album on FB for the exact do, the doppleganger Rosario Dawson pic. Yeah, 5 years later, I still look exactly like that. Plus 15lbs. I refuse to do anything else that might deem me to be “soccer mom”.

    Your hair looks great. Because it’s on you! And Lagunatic rocks my socks.

    Reply
  • 2. sam  |  January 26, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    It looks pretty nice actually. I like it. I think you might have offered a before and after collection of images so we could be better equipped to be shocked and frightened. This, not so frightening!

    Reply
  • 3. Dennis  |  January 26, 2011 at 1:11 pm

    Saucy!

    Reply
  • 4. A Vapid Blonde  |  January 26, 2011 at 2:26 pm

    I would do anything to have your soccer mom hair right about now! You are totally rockin’ it though I must say!

    Reply
  • 5. Steph  |  January 26, 2011 at 3:33 pm

    It looks FINE!!

    If you find a good sherpa can you help me find one too? Schlepping the bags to the gym sucks.

    Reply
  • 6. AspieMom  |  January 26, 2011 at 3:42 pm

    I find you to be as gorgeous as ever. Mwah!

    Reply
  • 7. dev  |  January 26, 2011 at 5:23 pm

    I think you are outrageously funny; on second thought, I think you are outrageous AND funny!!

    As far as your hair; I think it looks great and sits well on that face of yours.

    Reply
  • 8. barbie  |  January 26, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    w.t.f.

    when and why?

    how and where?

    it’ll grow. I’d chop it off if I were you! You are so edgy, funny and point blank awesome and this cut is ho hum. Dye it or chop it off, would ja? Oh and by the way, you know I love you (conditionally, of course), right?

    Dude, seriously, you look beautiful. It draws attention to your gorgeous face (even though your boobs are your best asset ;)

    Reply
  • 9. SAsammygirl  |  January 26, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    It doesn’t look so bad, actually sort of pretty.

    Reply
  • 10. subWOW  |  January 27, 2011 at 1:26 am

    I need to study this ethnographic group called Soccer Mom more since I haven’t had a slightest idea what you are referring to as Soccer Mom hairdo. Or it could be that I was totally distracted by your beauty. Yup. That’s probably it. ;-)

    By the way, you can be driving a Hundai and it would look cool because YOU are in it. Seriously.

    Reply
  • 11. Rewarp  |  February 1, 2011 at 3:47 am

    Yes. Your hair looks terrible.
    /sarc

    Reply

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